Formatting Dialogue

It is strange that, with all the grammar rules and style rules people debate regularly that no one talks about the rules of dialogue. There are definitel rules for formatting dialogue. All older published books have the same rules as to how the reader understands who is speaking. (I won’t vouch for modern books, because nearly every single authors I edit gets these wrong, so there may be many indie books that do not follow the rules.)

What are the rules?

1. Dialogue gets its own paragraph.

2. If there is narration of any kind (anything outside of the quotes) it should only be on one side of the quote marks.

3. Whoever is mentioned immediately after the closing quote is taken to be the speaker.

Here’s the longer version:

Formatting Dialogue

Dialogue formatting etiquette is important for two reasons:

1) Reader expectations – if you go against the rules for formatting dialogue, the reader will not understand who is speaking.

2) Ease of reading – these rules make it easier on the reader. This is not something we should willingly sacrifice.

Each New Speaker Gets A New Paragraph

First rule is: Each new speaker gets a new paragraph. Yes, I realize that I just said that above, but this is so important, I thought it was worth it to mention it twice.

This means two things.

1) In proper English grammar, you can never do this:

“Hi,” said George. He turned to Pete, who said, “Let’s go out.”

In this example, two people, George and Pete, both speak in the same paragraph. This is incorrect, and it will confuse your reader.

I don’t see that very often, but I often see this, which is much, much worse:

George ran down the hill. “Hi!” waved Pete.

Don’t do this. Please. You will drive your readers crazy. Because according to proper dialogue etiquette both George just said hi, as dialogue following an action like that is said by the person doing the action. So what is Pete doing there?

It should read:

George ran down the hill.

“Hi!” waved Pete.

In other words, any prose in the same paragraph as dialogue should be about or from the point of view of the person speaking.

2) For some reason, I keep seeing is something like this.

George ran down the hill

“Hi!” Pete waved back.

Only, for some reason, I discover as I read on that the author thinks George is the one talking.

If you have dialogue and then someone acts after it, in English, that means that person who acts in that same paragraph is doing the talking. If that person is not the person who you intend to have doing the talking, put that sentence in the next paragraph!

So, this should look like:

George ran down the hill

“Hi!”

Pete waved back.

Or

George ran down the hill. “Hi!”

Pete waved back.

White Space Is Your Friend!

One thing we did not have time to cover in this class was ping-pong dialogue, which is a shame because then we would have gone over how white space on the page helps rest the reader’s eyes and makes it easier for them to read.

Readers love dialogue. It is easy to read and easy to see.

If you bury your dialogue inside a mountain of regular narration, it is like shooting yourself in the foot.

You are losing the benefits of dialogue, and you are probably annoying your reader for absolutely no reason.

Here is an example:

The rain fell steadily upon the windowsill. The day was gray and cold. “Do we have any movies we haven’t watched?” ask Frieda. But no one answered. That made her feel worse than before.

The rule of thumb is…every single time there is dialogue, one trailing quotation mark should always be at the outside of the paragraph.

The rain fell steadily upon the windowsill. The day was gray and cold.

“Do we have any movies we haven’t watched?” ask Frieda.

But no one answered. That made her feel worse than before.

So you can have this:

Rick ran down the road. “Where did he go?”

Or this:

“Where did he go?” Rick ran down the road.

Or this:

“Where did he go?” Rick ran down the road. “Have you seen him?”

Or this:

Rick ran down the road.

“Where did he go?” he called.

Or this:

Rick ran down the road. He called, “Where did he go?”

Or even this:

“Where did he go?” Rick ran down the road. “Did you see him?” He paused and then turned right. “I can’t find him anywhere?

But don’t do this:

Rick ran down the road. “Where did he go?” he called.

If you bury the dialogue, you are taking away all the advantages that come from dialogue.

Also, if you have a line of dialogue and then a long paragraph that doesn’t have much to do with the dialogue, put the rest in its own paragraph, regardless of who is speaking.

So:

“Let’s look in here.” Lucy went into the spare room and peered around. She searched behind the desk and under the chair, but these were not good hiding places. She looked behind the door and under the rug, but she would be obvious in there. Finally, she opened the wardrobe and peered into the dark fur coats. Should she hide in here? It was never wise to lock yourself into a wardrobe.

Should be:

“Let’s look in here.”

Lucy went into the spare room and peered around. She searched behind the desk and under the chair, but these were not good hiding places. She looked behind the door and under the rug, but she would be obvious in there. Finally, she opened the wardrobe and peered into the dark fur coats. Should she hide in here? It was never wise to lock yourself into a wardrobe.

Mindspeech

Mind speech…mental speech, telepathy, psychic conversations—whatever you want to call it—is not put between “ ”. Quotation marks mean that the speech is out loud and other people in the room can hear it.

Silent speech is usually indicated by putting the dialogue in italics.

Who is there? asked Sally.

“It’s me,” Sam said aloud.

Sum up

So, again, every single time there is dialogue in your story the following should be true:

1) There is a quotation mark on the outside of the paragraph, either at the beginning, or at the end, or both.

In other words:

“Hi,” he called.

He called, “Hi!”

“Hi,” he called, “How are you?”

But never:

He called, “Hi!” He waved.

2) Every speaker gets a new paragraph.

“Hi,” said George.

He turned to Pete, who said, “Let’s go out.”

Or, even better:

“Hi,” said George. He turned to Pete

“Let’s go out,” said Pete.

But never:

“Hi,” said George. He turned to Pete, who said, “Let’s go out.”

3) The primary person acting in the paragraph with the dialogue should be the speaker. If the person acting is not the speaker, begin a new paragraph.

So:

George ran down the hill.

“Hi!”

Pete waved back.

Or:

George ran down the hill. “Hi!”

Pete waved back.

But not:

George ran down the hill

“Hi!” Pete waved back. (where George is the speaker.)

Hope that makes the matter clearer! If not, let me know!